If I met me now, I wouldn't talk to me

I'm in a Segafredo in Abu Dhabi International, about to get a flight with "The Best Airline in the World for the Second Year Running." I'm wearing a suit. I'm carrying a computer and two mobile phones.

It's two weeks since I last consumed alcohol.

Last time I did something like this I was wearing shorts and the nearest thing I had to electronics was the chip in my passport.

Who have I become? Next thing you know I'll be reading Clive Cussler and taking photos of shopping malls.